When Pain was Silent
When pain was silent
And my voice was mute
I found ways to scream into the void
And vocalize what plagued me.
I drew on my skin
Because scars show
And they made the intangible,
Something I could see.
I tried to disappear
Shrink myself by fading into my skeleton
Because I craved to conceptualize
And fought to visualize
Despite it being my destruction.
When I bury myself in dark corners of my mind
And I let silence
All I can do is self-sabotage
Begging to be saved
Without a word from my lips.
I no longer wish to speak
With blades nor with food.
With behaviors to shout the pain
I can talk about.
I no longer subside to the shame
Because darkness fuels darkness
And I want
I no longer surrender to stigmatization
Fear of rejection
I no longer seek to transform my pain
Into a visual nor measurable entity.
I just make it heard.
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